Dealing with School Anxiety, by Kathy Dennis, AMFT
It’s October and we are well into a brand-new school year. Many of the local schools in my area have been in session for almost 2 months now. Nevertheless, school anxiety can show up at any time- not just the first week. When I work with clients who are students, no matter what their age, I like to break down the following essentials to make school time a little more manageable.
1. Address your worry- Did you know that worry can be a good thing? Good worry is a call to action; prompting you to take care of anything that is hanging over your head. To ease this worry, simply get your project or assignment started! Bad worry prevents you from functioning. It freezes you in your tracks and can lead to avoidant behavior. Talk through bad worries with someone you trust; don’t stay in your worry cycle.
2. Motivation- There are two types of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Intrinsic motivation comes from inside you. You work toward the goal because it is something you want for yourself. Studies show that this type of motivation is the most predictive of a positive outcome. Extrinsic motivation is a driving force outside of you. You work towards this goal because theres an outside force that benefits you (for example: getting paid cash for good grades, getting masters degree for a promotion in the future, and learning a new language because your job pays a bonus to be bilingual).
There are also non-motivators such as being punished for low grades or being yelled at for making mistakes. Ask yourself; “What can I do to cope when I am
faced with someone or something that does not motivate me? How can I communicate with my parents and/or teachers about what keeps me motivated?”
3. SMART goals- Establishing goals for your semester can help you have a clearer picture of what you are striving for in school. SMART goals need to be specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and time-bound. An example would be: I will increase my grade in math (specific) by 10%, (measurable & achievable) by the end of the grading period (realistic & time-bound). My objective (this is how I am going to accomplish this): (1) attend tutoring club after school 3 out of 5 days per week; (2) complete 100% of all assigned homework problems; (3) turn in 100% of all assigned homework lessons on time; and (4) play a math game on Saturday and Sunday before watching television or playing video games.
4. Organization- When I homeschooled my sons, my school planner was my most-prized scholastic possession. Every fall, I would invest in a spiral-bound school planner for each kid. The planners were organized with columns for the days of the week and squares in the columns for each subject. On Sundays, I would take a look at the week ahead for assignments from our charter and divvy up the work over 5 days. In my college and master’s program, I created tables and planned out my reading, research, and paper writing 3 weeks in advance. Having a plan of action helped alleviate stress because the planner proved that by dividing and concurring, everything assigned would be accomplished. Ah…..! Speaking of organization, how does your study area look these days? Commit to spending a maximum of 10 minutes per day on keeping the study zone neat and clutter-free. “Having a clear mind and a clear space allows you to think and act with purpose”- Ellen Kramer.
5. Talk about it- Identify emotionally safe people in your life that you can turn to when you need to “vent” about frustrations. (Be clear about your intentions- do you want to let it all out, or do you want some advice?) Perhaps your school offers to tutor? Discuss with your tutor your struggles with the concepts. They may be able to offer advice about study habits or tricks to remember. Do you have family or friends with many talents? My sister helped me a lot with math in high school- and she even helped out my son with Algebra through pictures and texting! Later, I helped one of her daughters with coding over the phone.
6. Take care of yourself- I completely agree with the theory of mind-body connection. Studies are showing more and more how good nutrition helps our brains process and has a positive effect on mental health. Look for ways to add wholesome, nutritious food to your day: meal prepping on the weekends is the only way I can eat a healthy lunch on weekdays! And make sure you are getting enough sleep. I cannot stress enough how vitally important sleep is for mental health, physical health, and overall vitality. If sleep has been an ongoing problem and sleep hygiene or relaxation techniques have not helped, it may be time to consult with your primary care physician for help. For exercise, a quick 15-minute walk can benefit mood tremendously. Your body will begin to release relaxing, feel-good hormones and metabolize extra adrenalin, which can help shift stress to calm.
Remember, school anxiety can pop up at any point during the academic year. Taking inventory of your motivation, organization, nutrition, and sleep can help you feel more in control of your stress. As always, seek support and do not isolate yourself. You are not alone as you manage your school stress- seek out others who can commiserate or give you some words of wisdom… or a supportive hug.
Kathy Dennis has experience working with clients of all ages in addressing school-related anxiety. Kathy was a homeschooling mom of two boys for 12 years and managed lesson planning, educating, and organizing their work samples and logs to turn in for attendance. Kathy is currently taking new clients and may be contacted by phone at 760-884-4929 x708 or email at kathy@anxietytraumatherapy.com